The element, tentatively named Administratium (Chemical Element [Ad]), has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However it does have 1 Neutron, 128 Assistant Neutrons, 75 Vice-Neutrons and 111 Assistant Vice-Neutrons. This gives it an atomic weight of 315. These 315 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called Morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium, is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every other reaction with which it comes into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally occur in less than one second.
Controversy has erupted amongst researchers. Most agree that Ad is gaseous, but not a noble gas.
Administratium has a normal half-life of aproximately 3 years, at which time it does not decay but, instead, undergoes a reorganisation in which Assistant Neutrons, Vice-Neutrons and Assistant Vice-Neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic weight actually increases after each reorganisation.
In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably split into several peons, forming new isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is spontaneously formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it.
Research indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate in certain locations such as government agencies, large corporations and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best-appointed and best-maintained buildings.
Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.
Researchers have all but ruled out any useful application for the element. "If anything useful comes from its discovery," says one scientist, "it's that now we can identify it, eliminate it, and stockpile it where it won't interfere with anything."